How to Flunk a Class
For best results, follow directions carefully. Side effects include apathy, poor long-term vision, inability to focus, and giving up.
Physical Classrooms:
- Don’t come to class for the first week or two
- When you do come, arrive at least 20 minutes late every day
- Sit in the back of the class with sunglasses on texting and scrolling through social media
- Don’t take any notes
- Avoid eye contact with the teacher
- Don’t ask any questions or show any interest in the subject
- If the teacher asks you a question, pretend not to understand the question
- Wait until the 4th week of class to get your book
- Be the first to leave when the class is over
- Never ask the teacher questions about anything
- Don’t take your books home with you
- Skip every Friday so you can get the weekend started early
- Come in reeking of alcohol or other substances on Monday morning
- Don’t study for tests
- Circle “a” for each question on a multiple choice test
- Leave all the blanks blank on a fill-in-the-blank test
- Only show up for midterms and finals
For Virtual Classrooms:
- Don’t sign on until the second week
- Don’t download the syllabus
- If you work on a team, let your team mates do all the work
- Give lots of excuses why you didn’t do your work
- Go online to get test answers
- Go online and buy papers that someone else has written
And finally…
Be shocked and amazed that you didn’t get a passing grade, and claim discrimination.
Now you all know that Gramma would never steer you wrong, so you want to make sure that you do the OPPOSITE of what is on this list. You should never, ever set out to flunk a class.
Always give your best in whatever you do!
Please feel free to add your own items to this list in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
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Remember that God loves you, and so do I!